Love Hurts, But Sometimes Its a Good Hurt.

A lot of questions have plagued my mind for so long now. I’d suppressed them. I can no more. Why does no one feel like she did? Why doesn’t anyone’s hug or cuddle feel as comforting as loving? Why do I feel complete in her arms? Why do kisses mean nothing anymore, no matter how talented the partner? With her every kiss was filled with emotion and propelled by love. Why can I touch no one like I touched her? Why do I long for no one but her? Why is she the only on in my dreams, my thoughts and my fantasies? I’ve been with others since, but I feel not the intensity I felt with her ever since the beginning, ever since we met. Why did she have to leave when everything was so right? Why did she give up if the feelings between us were so intense? Why does she still say she loves me? Why does she regret breaking up with me? How can she move on just a month after we broke up and say things like that? Why can’t I move on? Why does it feel so wrong touching another and being with another? Why am I devoid of feeling toward the whole world? Why do I look at women differently? Why do I wonder so often what my reason for living is, my purpose and my place? Why have I contemplated suicide more than once? Why do I feel so incomplete without her? Why did I give her and our relationship all that I had, my heart, my soul, so much that I have nothing left to give? I’m a walking talking human in perfect health with no feelings, no compassion and no empathy. I’m cruel, I’m nasty, I hate, I despise, I rebel, I antagonise and I feel pleasure in sadistic behaviour. I am frustrated and I would not think twice before picking up a fight with anyone, just anyone. Why is there nothing about our relationship that I can blame for what happened? Why did it have to happen to us, to me, although our relationship was so pure and the feelings so true? Why do all those arseholes, those bastards who lie to their girlfriends, tell them they love them, yet fuck around and cheat on them multiple times, face such issues? Why do they “Live Happily Ever After”? Why can’t I be happy? Why can’t I be happy with the only thing I want, the ‘Love of My Life’? Why can’t we be together? Why can’t I have myself my very own happy ending?