Well, looks like this is quickly becoming my bitching wall. My way of releasing what we're not ready yet to discuss. My way of sending it out there out of my system in the hope that someone with similar problems may have advice or sympathy. Maybe it's just a vain hope that some day when you're in the right frame of mind you may read it and understand my point of view.
Whatever, it's me brain mouthing to relieve frustration.
So, you have time, LOTS of time for almost strangers, to serenade them, to be a nurse to them, to sympathise with them, to be empathetic and feel bad for them and dish out world class advice, even go the extra mile and be totally selfless and do favours for them. You have all the time in the world to be everyone's nurse, despite knowing the next day your work will be affected. But who cares. It's nice to know you're so warm and so compassionate. It truly is, I'm not being sarcastic. But what happens when I have the simplest of needs or requests? Why is it that everytime when I need something, or request something (as rarely as I do) that the first think I hear is a complain of some sort about how inconvenient it is, how it's not possible or how much work it is, or how it just can't be achieved. I'm not even talking about the unfortunate times when I was low and was seeking comfort and was figuratively coldly slapped in the face instead, I still put that down to bad timing and distance. Sigh......how does it make me feel? How do YOU think it makes me feel? When I see the time and effort you put into nursing everyone else, everyone else mind you who won't give a shit about you when you need them. And when I need the simplest of things, the simplest of information that just requires you to do nothing more than lift a finger or make a call, the first thing I hear is the various ways in which it's 'inconvenient'. Just who am I to you?
Now to bitch - Just a few recent examples. It's not inconvenient to drop some one home who made it to wherever he was by himself. It's not inconvenient to eat up your sleep time over consoling a pal, it's not inconvenient to spend half the night and half the morning looking after a heart broken buddy, but hey, Rushie needs something (maybe just some peace of mind), ah! But it's so inconvenient! How will I do that? How can I? It's out of the way. Why should I inconvenience myself for him?
So is keeping in touch isn't it? Inconvenient. So so inconvenient to just drop a message letting the other know what's up, keeping them in the loop to compensate for distance.
But NO, I can't say all the above to you, I'll become a CONTROLLING bastard. I'll be some one who's always complaining. I'll be misconstrued as an arsehole who doesn't want you to have fun. Some one who expects too much. I mean really, am I asking for too much. I'm not complicated, I just need simple things. But Oh so INCONVENIENT!
Whatever, it's me brain mouthing to relieve frustration.
So, you have time, LOTS of time for almost strangers, to serenade them, to be a nurse to them, to sympathise with them, to be empathetic and feel bad for them and dish out world class advice, even go the extra mile and be totally selfless and do favours for them. You have all the time in the world to be everyone's nurse, despite knowing the next day your work will be affected. But who cares. It's nice to know you're so warm and so compassionate. It truly is, I'm not being sarcastic. But what happens when I have the simplest of needs or requests? Why is it that everytime when I need something, or request something (as rarely as I do) that the first think I hear is a complain of some sort about how inconvenient it is, how it's not possible or how much work it is, or how it just can't be achieved. I'm not even talking about the unfortunate times when I was low and was seeking comfort and was figuratively coldly slapped in the face instead, I still put that down to bad timing and distance. Sigh......how does it make me feel? How do YOU think it makes me feel? When I see the time and effort you put into nursing everyone else, everyone else mind you who won't give a shit about you when you need them. And when I need the simplest of things, the simplest of information that just requires you to do nothing more than lift a finger or make a call, the first thing I hear is the various ways in which it's 'inconvenient'. Just who am I to you?
Now to bitch - Just a few recent examples. It's not inconvenient to drop some one home who made it to wherever he was by himself. It's not inconvenient to eat up your sleep time over consoling a pal, it's not inconvenient to spend half the night and half the morning looking after a heart broken buddy, but hey, Rushie needs something (maybe just some peace of mind), ah! But it's so inconvenient! How will I do that? How can I? It's out of the way. Why should I inconvenience myself for him?
So is keeping in touch isn't it? Inconvenient. So so inconvenient to just drop a message letting the other know what's up, keeping them in the loop to compensate for distance.
But NO, I can't say all the above to you, I'll become a CONTROLLING bastard. I'll be some one who's always complaining. I'll be misconstrued as an arsehole who doesn't want you to have fun. Some one who expects too much. I mean really, am I asking for too much. I'm not complicated, I just need simple things. But Oh so INCONVENIENT!
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